Library Resources on Relationships, Gippsland Women's Health Service

Library Resources on Relationships

AUDIO **********

MOTHERLESS DAUGHTERS
REL EDE
EDELMAN, Hope
Talking Book - The Legacy of loss. For any woman who has lost her mother and who has looked for comfort and understanding, here at last is brave and powerful work of experience and insight. Ask any woman whose mother has died and she will tell you that her life has been irrevocably altered; that this one fact forever changes who she is and who she will be. Gone is the caregiver, teacher, adversary, role model, and guide to being a woman. Often, whole parts of the mother's role transfer to the daughter; grieving can be cut short, cut off, or dismissed in order to keep the family going.
1995
2 hours

THE DANCE OF ANGER: tape 1-2
REL GOL
LERNER, Harriet Goldhor
Psychologist Harriet Goldhor Lerner Ph.D tells how to clarify and change relationships rather than remain stuck in patterns of emotional distancing or ineffective fighting and blaming. Teaches how to have both a relationship and self.
2002
2 x double sided audio tape

BOOK **********

THE DILEMMA OF THE ALCOHOLIC MARRAIGE
REL ALA
ALCOHOLIC FAMILY GROUPS
Every aspect of a relationship takes on the nature of a dilemma when one or both partners are alcoholic.
99 p
1992

YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW ME Why Mothers and Daughters Fight and how they both can win
REL APT
APTER, Terri
The precarious roller coaster relationship between mothers and teenage daughters is outlined from all aspects with the author offering strategies for a smoother ride until the teenage phase is over.
2004

OUR MOTHERS' DAUGHTERS
REL ARC
ARCANA, Judith
The first relationship that each of us has is with our mother, and the resonances of that relationship last throughout our lives. In this important book - a radical departure from the women-blaming books on motherhood which loudly preceded it - Judith Arcana helps us to understand that passionate and often stormy relationship, and shows us what we have experienced as individuals, we share as daughters. Through a series of interviews with 120 women, 'Our Mothers' Daughters' unfolds the complexity of this bond, evoking memories of pleasure and intimacy as well as of the conflicts inherent in the mother/daughter relationship as it is socially constructed.
235 p
1988

PRIVATE LIVES
REL ARN
ARNDT, Bettina
Looks at marriage, masculinity, sex, separation, friendship, death, self-confidence and bodies
224 p
1986

THE ESSENTIAL DIFFERENCE
REL BAR
BARON-COHEN, Simon
Book is based on the author's main theory that the femaile brain is hard wired for empathy and the male brain for understanding and building systems or systemizing. The author is also a director of an autism research centre and uses that knowledge as well as his psychiatric and psychological background for developing his theory. Covers areas such as communication, relationships, breaking into new groups, and power with research and scientific back-up. Also features a quizes on reading eyes, an empathy quotient, a systemizing quotient and an autism spectrum quotient
2003

MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS LOVING AND LETTING GO
REL BAS
BASSOFF, Evelyn Ph.D.
For a mother, a girl's adolescence - her emerging womanhood and increasing desire for independence - dramatically changes the once-exclusive mother-daughter relationship. It is a change that often creates in mothers profound feelings of anxiety, rejection, and loss.
289 p
1988

CODEPENDENT NO MORE
REL BEA 1
BEATTIE, Melody
Details codependency's characteristics, where the behaviour comes from & how it affects us & those around us.
255 p
1989

CODEPENDENT NO MORE
REL BEA 2
BEATTIE, Melody
Details codependency's characteristics, where the behaviour comes from & how it affects us & those around us.
255 p
1989

THE MAKING OF LOVE: the nuts, bolts and roses of staying in love as a couple... even with kids!
REL BID
BIDDULPH, Steve & Sharon
Revised edition of 1988. This book makes it clear that all healthy couples fight; that learning to be close and yet individual is what relationships are all about; that men and women are different, but not worlds apart; that sexual tension and communication problems are opportunities to spark into new levels of closeness and honesty.
195 p
1999

BORN TO PLEASE : AN EIGHT-STEP RECOVERY PROGRAM FOR WOMEN TRAPPED BY THEIR RELATIONSHIPS
REL BLA
BLAKER, Karen (PhD)
"... is for women who long to be an equal partner in relationships and to break out of destructive patterns of behaviour".
227 p
1990

NASTY PEOPLE How to stop being hurt by them without stooping to their level
REL CAR
CARTER, Jay
Deals with the nasty person, the invalidator and the victim. How the victim can brEak the abuse cycle through humour, self esteem and looking at the bigger picture
2003

NASTY MEN How to stop being hurt by them without stooping to their level
REL CAR
CARTER, Jay
Insights into behaviour of nasty men and strategies on gaining self esteem and confidence in dealing with them. Covers issues such as violence, and manipulation and that responsibility is with the woman
1993

DEALING WITH DFFICULT SITUATIONS at work and at home
REL CAV
CAVA, Roberta
Covers how to get on with work colleagues, bosses, partners and children with practical examples
2003

THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES: How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate
REL CHA
CHAPMAN: Gary
A couple's guide to help you work as a team looking at the identified five languages of love- quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch.
204 p
1995

HOW TO MANAGE YOUR MOTHER Understanding the most difficult, complicated and fascinating relationship in your life
REL CLE
CLEESE, Alyce Faye; BATES, Brian
The relationship with your mother can be varied - even in one day. Personal stories reveal how complex the relationship can be. The book also includes advice on how to establish a good relationship or at least how to understand it.
2003

INVISIBLE WOUNDS
REL DOU
DOUGLAS, Kay
Kay Douglas draws on the first hand accounts of over 50 women - as well as her own personal experience - to demonstrate clearly and accessibly how to recognise, resolve and recover from a destructive relationship.
266 p
1996

POWER GAMES Confronting hurtful behaviour and transforming our own
REL DOU
DOUGLAS, Kay; MCGREGOR, Kim
Author describes the relationship of power games and relationships. Covers workplace, children, as well as personal relationships and how to confront it
2000

EMOTIONS REVEALED Recognizing faces and feelings to improve communication and emotional life
REL EKM
EKMAN, Paul
How emotions are revealed facially and otherwise, and how to use that knowledge in a positive way and improve communication
2003

LOVING HIM WITHOUT LOSING YOU Seven empowering strategies for better relationships
REL ENG
ENGEL, Beverly
Written for the disappearing woman; for the woman who constantly puts her lover before herself or who puts her own life on hold whilst she throws herself into a romantic relationship. Author writes about the reasons why, provides a questionnaire on relationships, finding your self through journals and solitude and distinguishing between good and bad changes. Also covers how to reach a balance in relationships.
2000

THE VERBALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
REL EVA
EVANS, Patricia
How to recognize an abusive relationship and how to respond to it. The most important thing is to realize that you don't need to be treated that way.
179 p
31-May-1995

REBUILDING WHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP ENDS
REL FIS
FISHER, Bruce
A guide to rebuilding one's sense of self and self worth after a love relationship ends.
324 p
1992

MEN WHO HATE WOMEN AND THE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM
REL FOR 1
FORWARD, Susan (Dr.); Torres, Joan
"...help you understand your mans destructive pattern, the part you play in it, how to break the pattern, heal the hurt, regain your self respect and either rebuild your relationship or find the courage to love a truly loving man".
287 p
1987

MEN WHO HATE WOMEN AND THE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM
REL FOR 2
FORWARD, Susan; Torres, Joan
"...help you understand your mans destructive pattern, the part you play in it, how to break the pattern, heal the hurt, regain your self respect and either rebuild your relationship or find the courage to love a truly loving man".
287 p
1987

MY MOTHER MY SELF
REL FRI
FRIDAY, Nancy
Classic text that examines the mother-daughter relationship.
475 p p
1990

A COUPLES GUIDE TO COMMUNICATION
REL GOT
GOTTMAN, John; Notarius, Cliff; Gonso, Jonni; Markman, Howard
An examination of the nature of communication in couples. analysis of spoken and non spoken agendas and issues in communication.
220 p
1976

MEN WOMEN AND RELATIONSHIPS
REL GRA
GRAY, John
Making peace with the opposite sex. Teaches you how to get the love that you want. It is the ultimate guide to enriching relationships, offering new and innovative ways to create more love and support in your life. The original approach teaches readers to open new avenues to greater acceptance and appreciation of the opposite sex and to more fulfilling relationships.
227 p
1995

MARS AND VENUS STARTING OVER
REL GRA
GRAY, John
A practical guide for finding love again after a painful breakup, divorce, or the loss of a loved one.
334 p
1998

MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS
REL GRA
GRAY, John
A practical guide for improving communication and getting what you want in your relationships. Once upon a time martians and venusians met, fell in live, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets. Using this metaphor to illustrate the commonly occurring conflicts between men and women, Dr Gray explains how these differences can come between the sexes and prohibit mutually fulfilling loving relationships.
286 p
1993

STEP-PARENT SURVIVAL GUIDE
REL HEN
HENDERSON, Leila
Covers legal issue, love, discipline, relationships and access
64 p
1996

THE CROWDED NEST Surviving the new togetherness
REL JAC
JACKSON, Sue
This is a parenting book for adults who have children over 18 staying at home. Discusses the reasons why children stay or return home - economic, emotional and employment issues are considered. Also covers the cases where violent children live at home
2006

DARE TO CONNECT
REL JEF
JEFFERS, Susan
We all want to be liked or loved and to feel close to our partners, friends and colleagues. What we don't always know is how to make the connection. In this empowering book, Susan Jeffers gives us the insight and the tools we need to end our loneliness and create a sense od belonging everywhere we go. Dare to Connect.
205 p
1992

MANAGING LOVE AND HATE - A SELF HELP MANUAL
REL KID
KIDMAN, Antony
Designed to assist you to deal with emotions that all of us face at times. Dr Kidman draws on many years of clinical experience and research. He writes simply and clearly about how to handle these intense feelings using the latest therapeutic techniques. Topics include emotional health, understanding and surviving love , sex, making marriage work, separation and divorce, managing your anger.
159 p
1993

TOO GOOD TO LEAVE TOO BAD TO STAY
REL KIR
KIRSHENBAUM, Mira
The magic has gone out of your relationship and more and more conflict is seeping in. There are also warm memories of the good times. Is it worth trying to work through the problems, or would it be best to part? In Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay, psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum draws on years of research and clinical experience to resolve this age-old conundrum. She offers sensible, sane and reliable guidelines which will provide the key to making your decision.
288 p
1997

ON THE WAY TO THE WEDDING : TRANSFORMING THE LOVE RELATIONSHIP
REL LEO
LEONARD, Linda Schierse
"...writes about the longing for a true wedding, one that unites two beings in a sacred search for meaning in life. ...quest for a committed relationship with a soulmate...relationship with a creative muse, or union with the divine, or on a wedding of opposite forces within the psyche". Leonard shows that whether one seeks an inner or outer wedding, it is the work of transformation within that provides the transcendent ground for its attainment.
262 p
1986

THE WOUNDED WOMAN
REL LEO 1
LEONARD, Linda Achierse
Enables us to understand the father-daughter relationship and develop relationships that honour both the mutuality and the uniqueness of the sexes.
179 p
1985

THE WOUNDED WOMAN
REL LEO 2
LEONARD, Linda Achierse
Enables us to understand the father-daughter relationship and develop relationships that honour both the mutuality and the uniqueness of the sexes.
179 p
1985

THE DANCE OF ANGER
REL LER
LERNER, Harriet Goldhor
The Dance Of Anger is an insightful and prescriptive guide that shows women how to turn anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. Harriet Goldhor Lerner, a renowned psychotherapist at the Menninger Clinic, illuminates the causes and patterns of anger while providing specific stragies for making meaningful and lasting changes in important relationships. Basing her conclusions on a decade of clinical investigation and drawing on recent findings from psychoanalytic and famiuly systems theory, she illustrates how, and why, our anger often protects rather than challenges existing relationship dynamics.
239 p
1989

THE DANCE OF INTIMACY
REL LER 1
LERNER, Harriet Goldhor (PhD)
"...teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others".
255 p
1990

THE DANCE OF INTIMACY
REL LER 2
LERNER, Harriet Goldhor (PhD)
"...teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others".
255 p
1990

STEPPARENTING Everything you need to know to make it work
REL LOF
LOFAS, Jeannette
Not only does the book cover step parenting relationships with children and partners, the rules, the management of the relationship and the home, the author also writes about dating: the pre step period and the parental sexual relationship. A comprehensive book
1996

WIFEWORK: What marriage really means for women
REL MAU
MAUSHART, Susan
According to the author - if family life is worth saving, wifework will have to go. And that means rewriting the job description to make marriage more equitable, less exhausting and more fun for women.
269 p
2001

HELP! I'M LIVING WITH A (MAN) -BOY
REL MCL
MCLELLAN, Betty
The purpose of this book : "to inject some much-needed honesty into our thinking about relationships between immature men and the women who try to relate to them"
260 p
1999

BREAKING FREE : A RECOVERY WORKBOOK FOR FACING CODEPENDENCE
REL MEL
MELLODY, Pia; Miller, Andrea Wells
Designed for use alongside "Facing Codependence" exercises and strategies for self help recovering from codependency.
422 p
1989

LIVING AND LOVING TOGETHER
REL MON
MONTGOMERY, Dr Bob; EVANS, Lynette
A practical step by step manual to help you make and keep better relationships. Too often we base our expectations of a better relationship on romantic myths formed by what we read or see on the screen. Real life somehow never quite measures up. Nor are the example of our parents or peer group always very helpful.
234 p
1989

STEPFAMILY LIFE Why it is different and how to make it work
REL NEW
NEWMAN, Margaret
Understanding family relationships with chapters on accepting differences, emotional issues, jealousy, family rules, stepsiblings, maintaining balances, new babies, and honest communication.
2004

WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH
REL NOR 1
NORWOOD, Robin
When you keep wishing and hoping he'll change. Is having 'somebody to love' the most important thing in your life? Do you constantly believe that with 'the right man' you would no longer feel depressed or lonely? Are you bored with 'nice guys' who are open, honest and dependable? If being in love means being in pain, this book was written for you. Therapist Robin Norwood describes loving too much as a pattern of thoughts and behaviour which certain women develop as a response to problems from childhood.
264 p
1993

WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH
REL NOR 2
NORWOOD, Robin
When you keep wishing and hoping he'll change. Is having 'somebody to love' the most important thing in your life? Do you constantly believe that with 'the right man' you would no longer feel depressed or lonely? Are you bored with 'nice guys' who are open, honest and dependable? If being in love means being in pain, this book was written for you. Therapist Robin Norwood describes loving too much as a pattern of thoughts and behaviour which certain women develop as a response to problems from childhood.
264 p
1993

ANYTHING SHE CAN DO I CAN DO BETTER The truth about female competition
REL OAK
OAKES-ASH, Rachael
Discusses female competition with inserts from well known Australian women.
2003

NOW THAT I'M MARRIED WHY ISN'T EVERYTHING PERFECT?
REL PAG
PAGE, Susan
The 8 essential traits of couples who thrive. You entered your marriage with high hopes, confident tht your union would beat the odds and survive a lifetime - and thrive. But whether you're a newlywed or a long time partner, you sometimes have doubts. Is this all there is? Shouldn't I be happier? Why isn't everything perfect? These questions, according to bestselling author Susan Page, most often have more to do with unrealistic expectations than with irreconcilable differences.
240 p
1994

WHY MEN DON'T LISTEN & WOMEN CAN'T READ MAPS:How we're different and what to do about it.
REL PEA
PEASE, Allan & Barbara
New research on the brain, investigation of eveolutionary biology, analysing psychologists, studying social change and annoying the locals were all part of the preparation by the authors of this sometimes shocking, always illuminating and frequently hilarious look at where the battle line is drawn between sexes, why it was drawn between the sexes, why it was drawn and how to cross it.
295 p
1999

THE DEFINITIVE BOOK OF BODY LANGUAGE How to read others' thoughts and gestures
REL PEA
PEASE, Allan; PEASE, Barbara
Communication through looks and gestures. With many pictorial examples, the Peases explain how we communicate and how we receive messages without language. Very readable
2004

PARTNERS - a guide to successful relationships
REL REL
Relationships Australia
Booklet on starting a new relationship, the expectations, communicating with a partner, and warning signs

HELL...P! I AM A STEPMOTHER
REL RID
RIDDEN, Sonja
Discusses issues that arise in a blended family. Offers solutions and strategies
212 p
2002

BROTHERS AND SISTERS: Intimate portraits of sibling relationships
REL SAU
SAUERS, Joan
Intimate portraits of sibling relationships - a book for everyone - especially those who still have arguments about who was the favourite child.
347 p
1997

FAMILIES AND HOW TO SURVIVE THEM
REL SKY
SKYNNER, Robin; CLEESE, John
Houmorous and practical book on how we choose partners, what roles people adopt and how they behave towards their children. Thus giving the children the same values. Also covers depression, family roles, sexual identity, and sexual relationships
1983

MALE AND FEMALE REALITIES : UNDERSTANDING THE OPPOSITE SEX
REL TAN
TANENBAUM, Joe
"...an exploration of male and female approaches to communication, sex, emotions, decisions, priorities, commitment, learning and much more".
190 p
1990

LETTING GO
REL VAU
DE VAUS, David
This ground-breaking study draws together the evidence of some remarkably candid and often moving interviews to illuminate a much neglected subject - adults' relationships with their parents, so often complex and unresolved. As these interviews attest, parental influence extends far beyond adolescence and can be the source of lifelong pain and conflict.
223 p
1994

LIVING IN A STEPFAMILY Second edition
REL WEB
WEBBER, Ruth
Looks closer at the roles stepparents can play - deals with the problems and offers easy-to-follow strategies that will make stepfamily life a positive experience for all.
110 p
1989

VIDEO **********

LOVE AND KISSES
REL FAM
Tells the story of Helen and Michael, a couple in a happy relationship. Helen is thrilled to discover that she is pregnant, but devastated to be told by her doctor that she has genital herpes. The video follows Helen and Michael's adjustment to the fact that: Helen now has genital herpes which could affect her baby at birth; Michael has had a sexual relationship with someone else; and Michael ( and therefore Helen) could have been exposed to other sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS.

ON ANY WEDNESDAY
REL FIL
A video about working families sharing the load. The working families program is an element of the Government's response to ratifying the International Labour Organisation Vonvention 156 on Workers with Family Responsibilities. By ratifying this convention, theAustralian Government has made it an aim of national policy to minimise the pressures faced by people combining paid work and family life.
1993
10 M

ANOTHER TUESDAY NIGHT
REL FIL
A video about working families sharing the load . Produced for the workers with family responsibilities program. The International Labour Organisation is an agency of the United Nations which focuses on the needs of working people. The ILO recognises that paid work and family responsibilities are often difficult to balance and that conflict between the two roles affects women in particular.
1992
13 minutes

RELATIONSHIPS: MAKING THEM WORK
REL NOR
NORTH QUEENSLAND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE SERVICE
24 min video for young people on relationships with the emphasis on violoence prevention and healthy relationships
24 min p
2002